Apple Nag

Are all these developer complaints about the iPhone app store having any affect on Apple, or do they just irritate everyone?

Developers know by now what Apple is like. How about the developers stop whining and leave? That’s the only thing Apple will listen to. Geez, this app store fiasco has been going on since it’s conception.

Consumers don’t care about developer problems as long as they get their fix of apps. When the apps stop coming, users will leave. When users leave, profits go down, the carriers get pissed and Apple will say, “Huh, WTF? Why is this happening?” Yes, it will still take awhile for them to understand that they brought this upon themselves.

Until then, as long as developers keep whining and building apps (that’s called masochism), then they’ve developed a symbiotic relationship with Apple (the sadists).

Apple might care then when it hurts their bottom line. Until then, it’s just noise they’ve tuned out.

It’s just like this blog and my Twitter feed. I’m under no illusion that Apple gives a flying fig about anything I say, or the countless poor souls pouring their hearts out on the Apple support forums.

I continue to use Apple products — not because they’re a model of excellence, far from it — but because they’re better than the alternatives. I’ve learned to live with that and use this blog and Twitter as a means of telling those who have drunk, or are thinking of drinking the Apple kool-aid, that they should be warned about what they’re getting into.

When you bite into the Apple, most of it will taste delicious but you’ll also get that musty taste of rot.

I’ve used your products primarily since March 1, 1984 when I bought my first original Macintosh and ImageWriter printer. I was proud to be a Mac owner because it was so superior to the alternatives.

In the subsequent years leading up to the present time I became a Mac bigot. Everything else was not only not good, it was trash and I wondered how anyone could use that crapola.

Then Macs started going downhill with quality problems in the hardware and software. Macs just sucked less. I stopped doing unpaid sales and evangelizing for you and kept pretty quiet. When people asked me what kind of computer to get, I would no longer say, “Get a Mac”, I’d say, “What do you want to use a computer for?” I often told them to buy a PC.

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I’ve been fortunate in my career to never have worked for tyrants. Sure, I’ve worked for some bozos, but never someone who got their kicks from intimidation. Or someone who yelled at me while spraying spittle in my face. Or someone who threatened to fire my sorry ass unless I did this or that by some impossible deadline while sacrificing my family and social life, or my health.

I’ve never worked at Apple.

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Hey Apple, check out this posting by the publishers of 1Password for Mac, and 1Password and 1Password Pro for the iPhone and iPod Touch. Note the candor? Have you considered being as upfront about your own products? You rarely admit mistakes, and then only grudgingly when you’re caught with your pants down.

1Password was one of those applications that when I first heard of it, I didn’t really see the need for it. Eventually, I heard enough about it to check it out. Then I tried the demo. Then I bought it. Now I praise it and can’t live without it.

Hey, I’m the Apple Nag for a good reason. Almost everything you folks at Apple make that I’ve bought seems to be flea infested with UI inconsistencies that drive me crazy. Partially, it’s the “aura” I have resulting in even finely crafted software breaking, but your stuff is too flaky to qualify for supernatural phenomena excuses.

Lately, I’ve had all kinds of weird Leopard security issues. I’m thinking it’s time for an archive and install in the faint hope it will cure this insanity. I feel like I’m using Windows.

In the months that I’ve used Agile’s 1Password for the Mac and the corresponding app for my iPod Touch, I’m trying to think if I’ve ever experienced problems with it. Next to the OS, security software has to be the most rock solid software on your computer. Even backup software comes third. Leopard is a sickly cat that should crawl into the bush and die leaving Snow Leopard to rule. Fortunately, 1Password has never failed me.

So here’s the lessons you can learn from a small company. Be open and honest with your customers. Don’t be afraid to talk about the future. Don’t design software, craft it. Be self-deprecating, just a bit. Admit mistakes and make them right. Release bug fixes in a timely manner. Respond in a public forum to the concerns of your users.

Have you noticed that Agile has done a vastly superior job explaining why they’re now charging for their iPhone/Touch products than you’ve ever explained about your iPod Touch OS upgrade fees?

Did I upgrade to 1Password Pro even though I own the older free 1Password for my Touch? Did I trust them to come through with the extra features I’m paying a little bit for now that they’ll deliver sometime in the future. Of course! The app costs half of what I paid for an unsatisfactory lunch today, and it’s something that will stay with me even longer than the gas my lunch gave me.

As for trust? Well, I hate to say it guys, but I trust Agile more than Apple.

With your one billionth download, I started to think about the apps I have installed on my iPod Touch. I was somewhat startled to realize that I had 50 apps, yet I only paid for one $1 app — and I don’t use it anymore because a better free one became available. That works out to an average of two cents per app.

I’m known to be notoriously cheap — er, frugal, yeah that’s what I mean. But even so, you would think that the legions of app developers would be able to convince me to part with more money.

Games are not my thing, so even though I have several free games installed, I hardly play any of them. I certainly won’t pay for something I don’t use. Games are hot on the app store.

After some introspection I believe I have the answer. I don’t like your policies.

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Was it all the way back in 2002 that you guys first starting talking about the Digital Hub. That’s seven, count ‘em, years ago. When do you think we’ll see it come to fruition?

You have made steps, for sure, because we’ve got Macs, iPods, iPhones, Apple TV, and a monitor or two. That covers desktop and mobile computing.

There’s iLife and MobileMe to tie the hardware together giving us personal web site creation, photos, home movies, the ability to burn DVDs (those old fossils), and to share content with our family, friends, and the world on the Internet.

iTunes is a big part of the integration for music, movies, TV shows, podcasts and syncing to the other devices like iPods and Apple TV. In many ways, the features are targeted at making you more money than what’s best for your customers (don’t get me started on the 2G Shuffle and iTunes 8.1 fiasco).

It sure looks like you’ve got a hub strategy. Yet, you don’t promote the hub concept anymore. Is that because it would handcuff you into implementing features that would be detrimental to maximizing your profit margin?

Let’s talk about the rough edges and one huge group of people you’ve left out — family.

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A couple of articles yesterday and today got me thinking (always dangerous) resulting in that old Beatles tune, Can’t Buy Me Love, wafting through my brain.

I’m glad for that as it got me to write about more important things than the forced restart of OS X I had to do today. How many times is that this week? Hmm.

You can never go wrong beating up Apple, and I’ve certainly got my licks in with you guys on this blog. You deserved it. But these two articles are asking more from you than a company should be expected to give.

Money can buy you love. Just ask Scott Bourne. His giveaways on Twitter are buying him followers. So are his giveaways for linking to his new web site. Does that mean Scott is some sad, pathetic loser that has to buy his love? Hell no. He’s running a business. It’s called marketing. You can’t come down on the guy because he’s spending money to make money. That’s how companies grab attention, which is what you need to get noticed in a highly competitive market. If the product he provides is crap, people will leave, his advertisers will bail, and he’ll be left with debt. It’s called running a company.

What the authors of the articles fail to understand is that you are providing a non-essential service. You’re running a business. You have competitors. You’re trying to win. Why does everyone want to beat up a winner?
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If you don’t know what Stockholm Syndrome is, you’ll need to read up on it to fully understand this post. Go ahead, I’ll wait.

Back now? Fascinating read, wasn’t it? Perhaps I should have titled this post the Cupertino Syndrome. That’s not an original idea when applied to you, though. You’ve heard it before.

At least one well-known tech personality has called anyone who was underwhelmed by your March 17th iPhone 3.0 lovefest “haters.” Wow. How bad does that guy have the Syndrome? Just because we’re not in awe of your announcement he blindly calls us haters, never having met us; never having heard or read about our other comments.

Not a problem. I’ll still call it as I see it, and if you read a lot of reviews by high-profile tech sites, they’ll be more in agreement with me.

Your iPhone 3.0 announcement is underwhelming due to your success. Bizarre, right? The more successful you are in the market, the more flack you get for missing features. Uh, you’re not surprised by that, are you? So please excuse me if I don’t drool over stuff I’ve had in other products for years. Sometimes, many years.

A press event for this feature set? Only you guys can get away with that stunt. That’s not an insult, that’s respect for your marketing folks. Now those guys are awesome.

Let’s have a look at some of the features in the order I think are important.
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